A Letter to Subway

Dear Subway,

I love and enjoy your food very much. I personally am a huge Subway club fan because of the fresh roast beef, ham, and turkey not to mention the great veggies to go on it. Last week the Subway commercial came on and it was a catchy jingle and what really caught my attention was the word “ANY” used in the commercial like 50 times. Awesome… now my favorite sub is only 5 bucks. Here is a quick reminder if you forgot the emphasis on the word “Any”

The next time I am around the nearest Subway I decide to stop in to take advantage of this great deal. In fact I am singing the “ANY ANY ANY” part while I walk in the door. I order my sub and get to the end of the line and they want like $7.50 from me. I correct them and said that I ordered a $5 dollar sub since ANY sub is 5 bucks. They inform me that although not said in the commercial the “ANY” was followed by word “Regular” and my sub is not part of that group.

That’s when it occurred to me… you fucked me Subway.

So your song of lies that you sing is bullshit and it actually pissed me off. If you ask anyone what they think of when they see that commercial I bet 95% will say that the “ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY ANY” said multiple times and even fucking made out of Jello would be the first to come to mind.

Now I know that 5 Dollar ANY regular foot long doesn’t really fit well into the jingle but basically you just pissed on my leg and said it was raining. But maybe that was the point… to lie to us and get us to come in and then you have us.

So with all that said, I say this to you Subway.

Stick your $5 dollar footlong scam up “ANY” of the head guys asses over there.

Yours truly,

Me

~ by savral on February 28, 2010.