Open Letter to Bike Riders
Hi,
My name really isn’t important but you can just call me the evil devil that drives that box of steel that pollutes the environment. I would like to first say that I love a good bike. Most of my childhood was spent finding trails, doing wheelies, or just pretending I was Ponch from the show “Chips”. Driving started for me around 18 and the bike took a spot in the garage for years. I brought it out a few times after that to drive around, roam my old neighborhood, even bike my kids around once or twice, but mostly it stayed in the garage. I am not lucky enough to live close to my job to bike to work but if I did I might think about it.
Before I start my rant here I am going to point out that not EVERY biker does this but I have to tell you.. most of you do.
Now I know you guys are holylier then thou because you don’t kill the ozone and you’re all green and shit but let’s set some fucking ground rules. I have to drive through the streets with you, and in places you get your own little area to bike in and everything is great.. we share the road, we are respectful to each other, and we both follow traffic laws.
OH WAIT… That’s just me dickhead.
Seriously… you get a whole fucking lane but yet you can’t find the need to stay in it and basically block me and everyone else behind me because you know we can’t run over your dumb ass. What I even love more is that you KNOW I am right behind you and won’t make eye contact with me or even better yet… move the fuck over. Now I know this would be the considerate, smart thing to do but hey… I’m the asshole for driving the car. Hey.. better yet…
USE THE FUCKING SIDEWALK AND LET THE CARS HAVE THE ROAD. I know.. OMFG … I said it.
This suggestion might just kill you. God forbid you just stay the hell out of the way all together. You know I might have not come to this point if literally every time I see a bike I somehow get screwed over by it. Hey.. it’s not just me either. I see people roll their eyes, give you the finger, or as soon as they know they can safely pass hit the gas and peel out to get away from you freaks. This might be because if what I was talking about isn’t annoying enough.. my next point REALLY pisses the shit out of me.
You know those little things at intersections that require you to stop and the other ones that turn green after you wait a while? Here.. just in case you forgot what they look like let me post pictures.
Is there a reason that you morons can’t obey these signs? You want to share the fucking road and get all pissed off when we drive in your lane or happen to come close to you when driving our cars but when it comes to the signs and actually stopping then all of the sudden you guys are just some poor bike riders that get special rules.
WRONG!
You want to play this little game of big boy and drive on the road with the rest of us then you assholes need to start obeying the rules. If not.. I suggest you get your ass back on the sidewalk where you don’t interfere with us “car” people and we all can go back to being friends.
In closing, I really have no problem with bike riders if they would just be considerate, obey the rules and just not be another mindless idiot driving because God knows we have enough of them in cars driving around.
Thanks,
Your Pal
UPDATE : Adding this pic Deadlystiletto found to demonstrate my point.
oh hey, your neighborhood friendly biker here. I’d like to point a couple of things out. One, when a cyclist rides on the sidewalk, it endangers them more than riding on the road with people like you. You know why? because you’re to busy drinking your latte and not paying attention to the person on the sidewalk, and make your turn, as if they (the poor shmuck on a bike)were never there. Two, I guess you’ve never seen a car run a red light or roll through a stop sign. Go to youtube, and look up “cars running red lights” you’ll see a lot of videos of cars doing what you despise so much. Three, have you ever thought that the “bike lane” that the cyclist is in, may be littered with glass from assholes in their cars throwing bottles out their windows? Hence avoiding something that could cause them to swerve into your lane to avoid and you possibly hitting them? I guess not, because again, most motorist don’t pay attention to their surroundings. Before you get holier than thou about bikers, take into consideration, what they deal with everyday from stupid fucking drivers, like yourself. You think honking at a cyclist is cool? Well it’s not, it can scare the shit out of them, and piss them off. Maybe that is why they also stay in “your” lane and not bothering looking at the douche behind the wheel, of their two ton death machine.
There are a couple of assumptions you’re making here. Foremost is the one where you assume that you are more important than other people using the public roadway. Once you clear that hurdle, the rest will likely fall away.
I’m going to help with the other, though. Traffic laws and traffic signals have evolved to serve the safe and smooth flow of motorist traffic. Traffic laws and signals barely accommodate pedestrians and do little for cyclists. As such, I don’t understand why you expect cyclists to follow traffic laws?
If a cyclist ignores a traffic signal, there’s rarely ever any enforcement. Further, there’s no risk of death and very little risk of property damage to anyone other than the cyclist himself. This is absolutely not the case for motorists. There are many other reasons good reasons why a cyclist might choose to ignore traffic signals, but that’s really the best one.
Motorists, generally speaking (and I’m one of ‘em, are a self-entitled bunch of folks doing irreparable harm to the environment and are killing about 125 people a day. With all that in mind, I’m somewhat baffled by the fact that motorists are allowed on the public roadway.
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2010 in review « Fighting Stupidity One Person at a Time said this on January 2, 2011 at 11:25 AM |