Stay in your F%ck*#g Lane Blog

Holy shit it’s been such a long time since I wrote on here. Not sure why, since I think of all kinds of crap each and every day to talk about, but I digress. I think as I start to reach that glory age of 40, I have become more hateful and overall sick of people in general.

While this happens for many reasons (see older posts), one has been really pissing me off lately… moron drivers. Specifically, the fuck tards that go in one lane to get around the lines, and then have to cut, dash, weave, or whatever to get in the INTENDED lane they needed to be in.

c2b33d14e8b5b537fb99e930650cccc8364364d13890520ace2abe0871481d67This is where your faithful Son of Stallis guy comes in to piss them the fuck off. Am I asking for trouble… probably. Does this make it unsafe for everyone involved.. yea. Do I care.. nope. One person at a time I swear will learn the hard way and maybe… JUST MAYBE… the next time they think about doing it, they will remember there are others out there just like me that will fuck with them and maybe they should just wait the extra 3 seconds in the other line instead of being an asshole.

Hopefully I can set this up right and explain it clearly. This diagram shows the way you turn left onto our freeway here near Miller Park.

image026So for the people that don’t live here, the left lane.. if you stay in that lane allows you to go straight on the freeway, or it allows you to go westbound away from downtown. Now the right lane, it allows you to go straight as well, but has a quick off ramp for the casino on the right, and just a little bit further a ramp to go east to downtown. Pretty simple right? So because not everyone is a complete dick hole, the right lane fills up because most people are going downtown or to the casino.

This is where the assholes come in. Because that right lane is filled up, they have to wait an extra 1-3 seconds to get where they want to go. So to fix this in their feeble minds, they get in the left lane. When the arrow turns green, they floor it, and just merge into the right lane right away, or try and squeeze in quickly.

I let neither of these happen.

Image1Since about 90% of the time I am the first car in that right lane, and I know the car in the left lane is going to try this shit… I just deny them on all levels. I make sure to hit the green light perfectly and match the car next to me speed. So what happens is you have someone that WANTS to get in my lane, but cant get in my lane. I speed up when they speed up, I slow down when they slow down. I force them to use the lane they chose to be in. By being a fucking bag of dicks, they will pay by having to reroute themselves all together. I honestly wish I could do this all day to make more of these crack pots have to do this. So as you can imagine, I see this quite often…

roadrageNow this tool bag above got what he deserved , but sadly not enough of them do. But I have more. Of course I do.. why you ask?

toystoryNext up the turn only lane. Contrary to these worthless bags of shit think, people use them. So when I get in them and get to a red light I want to turn at, and the guy in front of me is sitting there because HE is going to go straight and ignore the TURN ONLY LANE sign.. I have something I like to do.

I hold my horn down and roll my window down and do this.

angry-driverI don’t let the horn off the entire red light and make sure I yell and make as much commotion as I can to publicly shame this shit for brains as much as I can. Of course it makes me look crazy, but I think most people can figure out why I am having a fit, and furthermore like all my craziness.. If I change one persons stupid habits, I have won a small battle.

I could also rant and rave about the people that don’t wait for monitored freeway ramp lights, but I think you get my drift on where that goes as well.

In conclusion, just do the right thing. Don’t be a dick and try and save a few seconds, because you might run into someone like me.




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